All Writings and Quote from Les

Leader Posts : 603 Join date : 2009-12-08 Age : 42

My Soul was So Close..

Walking through patches of flowers and trees.
feeling the wind on my neck gently breeze.
Pondering at all pasture's so green. Wondering?
Will I ever have this peace. The type of peace
you only get when your so calm and can finally breath!

When your lips are moist from your loves kiss is so true.
When I can finally say to my future wife I Love you.
When I can walk outside look up at the sky and appreciate,
the color Blue. For I have lived in the dark I guess for so long.

Even while walking along my heart still beat strong.
For I have lost to much to ever give up now.
With my cries for help as a child were silent, but
now so loud. As my coping mechanism's have never
made many smile.

At the end of each day I look to see if maybe I am feeling a little
bitter. I trust that someone will help me solve the little riddle.
I am stumped at what to do for I have Epically failed since the
age of two/ I will find my way and in the end this life wont seem
that it never should have been and that will be Indeed.

Nicholas Hilyard
OCT,7,2009

Leader Posts : 603 Join date : 2009-12-08 Age : 42

Angry Thoughts

Right now going though my head, are crazies things that haunt me.
The fear of fucking losing it "is clearly becoming reality"
I scream HELP!!!, but no one can hear me for i am stuck to face my own destiny.
A destiny filled with overwhelming shit, I can't get over it I have to get passed it.

The kind of shit that no one should see or even have to think about it.
The feeling you get when you know something is not right.
That is the feeling I get all day 24/7 constant fright. Thoughts
racing through my head I need to get out, I have no where to go, I scream
and I shout.. Please someone bust this glass and come rescue me whole.

So i don't have to live with these medications that that make me "cold".
I scream at in vein "DAMNIT" let my voice be known.
Arnt I worth it you don't even know, with your shitty smirk and your
hopeless shadow. Get out of my head, I mean stay by my side. Leave me alone,

but yet listen to me cry. For the beast you became made me so insane. I am
sorry must I say Again, when you are the ones putting thoughts of suicide into my head.
Yeah that right i said what I said don't think I'm afraid of you now,
for I am Living dead. You see I pulled that triggers years ago, and all must see.
That Yes I do suffer, but I am not blind I can still see.

So just get the hell out of here and leave me alone. No please
cuddle me would you come back home? For I don't think I can do this
Here all
A
L
o
n
e...... or did you just forget me? and left me here to
R
O
T... I am out now strew you to

Get
L
O
S
T.... For I am the one who has now been forgot...

Nicholas Hilyard 10-12-09

Leader Posts : 603 Join date : 2009-12-08 Age : 42

Stuck in a world wtih you

The Pain that is induced inside of my head is like a fucking circus clown dancing out of step.
No rhyme or reason just fucking me without a excuse that you do use and you use it oh so well.
As you make me sad, cry, cuss, fight and live in my own hell.
Jump in my head for a little bitty bit. Come on are you scared, come on get with it.
For you are the e one who cause all this shit. You can't live reality? Does it make you Sick?
Well good bitch go ahead and suck on this, you don't have the power I do, I now don't
even know why I ever fell in love with you..So you left prove your hot
shit when you split and left me hanging like some idiot? Well strew you now, I am so done
I am so over it. For your time in my life has totally expired. Too bad i didn't get to see you face to face
To teach you the consequences of being a liar. Now you can burn in your own FIRE!!!

Nicholas Hilyard

Leader Posts : 603 Join date : 2009-12-08 Age : 42

I sit around wait for tomorrow with nothing to do, but write about terrors ans sorrows.
Knowing today's problems will soon be tomorrows solutions, still my mind tis boiled with confusion.
Yeah you know the type whee you can't think straight, the nightmares that keep you up so late.
When you don't want to go to bed for fear of those scary dreams. Of today's past now makes
me scream. SO what is one to do when he is at the end of the rope? With no concern for the outside world
full of morons who make me biz-ark. Lesser beings of the world who have lost all hope. So unlike me,
they just can't see al this crap that they are actually causing more Anarchy. Fuck the rules as everyone's screams.
We all have our own religions, why fuck with my beliefs. empty promises of a god who cares does not bother me.
When
I know it is only me who can save me and you I laugh at as I know your
so screwed. As, you grew up believing in something so minuscule. Yeah
that right get offended I'm talking to you. Read me another line of
shit you can't change me.SCREW YOU. For I know one thing in this insane
life we all have to live. It is oneself that chooses his/her destiny,
Not some God you put up on a pedistule and worship when you know you actually did it.
Must we have such low self-esteems? Really? Are we that idiotic? In the end it doesn't matter about me or you,
her or him, it's all about where your life began. Cause you chose to do what you did to make you who you are.
Don't blame anyone of us for you know who you are.
The Pat is now the Past and you have now moved on. To a different place. One we call the Unknown.

Nicholas Hilyard

Posts : 453 Join date : 2010-01-18 Age : 36

Nice read mate keeps it up

the pink hurt my eyes though

Leader Posts : 603 Join date : 2009-12-08 Age : 42

Life... Ten tips to stay alive;)

1. You will fail. Everyone does it, it is your choice to fail again and again, Take the correct path you will be lead to wealth and sucess you take wrong path you will be cursed with well a "BAD" life.

2. You will fall in love and get hurt more then once. Toughen up it will help you with your next future ex;).And so on.. You too will also probably break a heart and feel how shitty that is to do as well. Is any of it fun, NO!!

3. You will love people in your life that DIE. Death is inevidable, you can't avoid it, so the best thing to do is accept that death will come: and you WILL hurt, but not everyone lives for ever: and the hurt will fade away but let the person live on . Don't question it, for there is no reason to patronise yourself. Just let it happen as it comes.

4. You will face lonliness, will it last forever? Not really, but you must embrace and become your own best freind anyway, because in the end it is true we all die and take our last breath alone. So prepare yourself for lonliness is probbaly a good thing that we should embrace and not take for granted.

5. You will face tough decissions and most likely you WILL make the wrong choices in some point in this adventuree of life. own up to your mistakes no matter how ugly your demons are they are much better out the in trust me.

6. There will come a time in everyone that is reading this will have to face there life. I mean really face it. We all have fucked up shit, some of us choose to hide it better some of us choose to let it out. No matter rather you want it or not the problems will catch up with you. Probably already is fucking with your personality right now and you just do not know it.

7. Happiness, we all will feel it some of us will live behind the shadows of it, becuase really you will always have reason to not be happy, so this one is up to you. Go ahead smile it is ok. After all there is no hell right...???

8. You will read this and think about everything I have said. Some of you will laugh it off as something crazy I worte. Some of you who have an IQ will look at it and say wow he is right. Some will just forget they read it, but you all are reading it now. That's the point tis your choice in the end to live by it.

9. You all will fight for your life or someone elses life at one point, YOU will feel hopeless at what to do, but stop and think and the right thing should come out, don't over react in this world you WONT make it out alive...

10. If you made it this far I thank you but truth is you will most likely forget everything I said, rather it be to real for you, or you may just choose to over look the facts as a crazy rant, but trust this. Survival is your only key, you want to know why your on this earth? I will tell you, your here to grow, your here to learn, your here to cry, your here to hurt, your here to listen, and your here to care. So I guess what I am saying is do that or get then give up right here;)

Leader Posts : 603 Join date : 2009-12-08 Age : 42

You see me? Hey I'm right hear, can't you feel me glaring at your snooty little stair? Or will I just be forgotten again like you wanted me to. You wanted to pretend that you were not me and I was not you? I don't understand it the feeling that were all there the screaming fights that put us here. I loved you unconditionally? Yeah nos hit.. Your the one who up and splits? Still having dreams and waking up with sweats? Your still in my past present and future business? Why I must ask would you just go away? Leave me alone let me get the fuck away!!! Your too much for me I can't handle you so near, so take the first train out of here. Leave that's what you wants to do, to escape the illusion that was once me and you. Go ahead run run run like you always do. You know I will be hear waiting for you? Wait what don't say that Nick your "crazy", remember she is the one who went away.Must you gone and stray why did you not just stay? So all these emotions I would not have to feel, the poisoning stings of a fresh gasoline clean cut, yes my love this bleeding mark of crusifiction it is you. I can't blame myself as I really had no clue, your loveless memories made me numb t the real you. SO go go run along get out of here you. Before i change my mind...click....click.....your still standing there, I will not stare Click.... click.... BOOM!!!

Nicholas Hilyard

~NIES~Property Posts : 95 Join date : 2009-12-09

wow, thats cool but wow its very deep. i likes it Very Happy

Leader Posts : 603 Join date : 2009-12-08 Age : 42

rocknroll wrote:: wow, thats cool but wow its very deep. i likes it

thanks;)